emotional dependence kills.

waiting to exhale. ever thought about the characters in that movie? notice how they were all holding on to past hurts and disruptive men because they kept the faith that eventually these men would come around; just to sadly realize that you cannot change a man and you can't sit around in a relationship that you're unhappy with in hopes of him coming around. ever notice that some women are financially independent and can hold their own in the corporate world or anywhere else for that matter, but for some unfathomable reason, they’re emotionally dependent on men?

...being independent doesn’t mean you don’t hurt & cry when a man leaves, it only means that IF a man were to leave; you’d STILL know how to look up and pick up the pieces.

illusions.

a woman's intuition never lies but when your self-esteem isn’t where it needs to be, it can be very deceitful by creating fictional feelings.

yes, lenny...♥

absolutely love it.

the dance of intimacy.

*got this in an email ... although I've read it before, it's still a great read and wanted to share with you all ... and if you've also seen this before just look at it like a helpful reminder ... enjoy*

Coming Back to Center in a Relationship

Anyone in a long-term relationship knows that the dance of intimacy involves coming together and moving apart. Early in a relationship, intense periods of closeness are important in order to establish the ground of a new union. Just as a sapling needs a lot more attention than a full-grown tree, budding relationships demand time and attention if they are to fully take root. Once they become more established, the individuals in the union begin to turn their attention outward again, to the other parts of their lives that matter, such as work, family, and friendships. This is natural and healthy. Yet, if a long-term relationship is to last, turning towards one another recurrently, with the same curiosity, attention, and nurturance of earlier times, is essential.

In a busy and demanding world full of obligations and opportunities, we sometimes lose track of our primary relationships, thinking they will tend to themselves. We may have the best intentions when we think about how nice it would be to surprise our partner with a gift or establish a weekly date night. Yet somehow, life gets in the way. We may think that our love is strong enough to survive without attention. Yet even mature trees need water and care if they are to thrive.

One of the best ways to nourish a relationship is through communication. If you feel that a distance has grown between you and your partner, you may be able to bridge the gap by sharing how you feel. Do your best to avoid blame and regret. Focus instead on the positive, which is the fact that you want to grow closer together. Sometimes, just acknowledging that there is distance between you has the effect of bringing the relationship into balance. In other cases, more intense effort and attention may be required. You may want to set aside time to talk and come up with solutions together. Remember to have compassion for each other. You’re in the same boat together and trying to maintain the right balance of space and togetherness to keep your relationship healthy and thriving. Express faith and confidence in each other, and enjoy the slow dance of intimacy that can resume between the two of you.

one more chance?

What it is? SO let me take a few lines here to introduce myself to you all. My name is Sharlyn and I’ve known the Pegster since elementary school. Yeah, we go back like pig tails and knee-highs! I share the same passion for writing as she does (ask her how many times I asked her to put me onto somethin’, lol) and I was more than ready when she happily accepted my request to post something on P I E C E S. I hope that all of you will feel the same after reading this…so without further adieu; I give you my first post:

I have a thing with getting into unnecessary arguments. Sometimes they can be avoided, sometimes you just have to let the person know what time it is and keep it moving. What always seems to have me at a standstill is the apology. Most rational people will apologize after their evil doing. Others choose to half-ass their way out of the doghouse like “you know I’m sorry” Do I? This is the rule of thumb I’ve decided to live by: if ya don’t mean it, don’t say it! When you utter the words ‘I’m sorry’, you’re admitting fault. You’re also saying that you will try not to repeat it like your new favorite song (my current is Blame It On The Alcohol) because what happens when you hear it too much? It gets PLAYED OUT. Now somewhere in our upbringing, we were told it is polite to accept an apology, even if you don’t believe the person. Thank God I’m not like Peter Pan and I grew that a** up! No fairy dust needed, I say just politely decline. What good is it if it’s mumbled or followed by a “but”?

temporary happiness?

In 1374, a philosopher named Geoffrey Chaucer wrote"All things must come to an end". Later on, the word 'good' was added and several variants of this proverb was created, the most popular one being: "All good things must come to an end."

I've thought about this time after time after time. Especially when things are exceptionally good in my life [and my relationship]. I try not to entertain the concept though, because the mere thought of it scares me.

Do all good things really come to an end?

'Cuz if they do, then I'm determined to make this "good" thing I got right now go real, REAL slow ... I don't know how much sense that makes to ya'll, but it makes a lot of sense to me. I think it's safe for me to say I'm happy ... and that's a "good" thing, but does this mean my happiness will come to a halt?


I hope not. :-/

is chivalry dead?

I was talking to my best friend last night and we got into a discussion about chivalry.

I happen to appreciate chivalry. Open the car door every once in a while. Help me with my bags [ok he won't carry the Louie, but you get my jist]! Treat me like the lady I happen to be. I love it. But, my best friend goes on to say that there’s a double standard. He asks what does the man in a relationship get in exchange. *side eye*

Truth be told, that’s not the first time I’ve heard that question from a man. My theory is that some of them are “tired” of the chivalry. Ummm, if you’re dating a woman, treating her like a lady should come with the territory. If you’re both walking in or out of some place, yes, you should get the door for her. If she’s carrying a bag or item that looks heavy, you should grab that ish for her.

Don't get me wrong, I'll do the same. I'm not all about Mr. Man doing everything. We can Trade Places [love that song] at times. I was just trying to prove a quick point to my big-headed friend. But this conversation lead to questions I figured I'd throw out there.

Are guys sick and tired of pulling out chairs and opening doors, etc?

Ladies: Does your significant other do that "gentlemen" stuff for you, or no?

Furthermore, do you think that because women have become more and more 'independent' over the years, chivalry has died ?