um yeah.

slight repost. sometimes people need reminders in the most subtle ways.

bitch.
1: the female of the dog or some other carnivorous mammals

2 a: a lewd or immoral woman b: a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman —sometimes used as a generalized term of abuse

3: something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant

4: complaint

I'm changing. The older I get, the more aggressive and assertive I've become in almost every area in my life. Demanding what I want quite frankly without the extra shit. Just because I’m strong minded, becoming a bit brutally honest and more assertive doesn’t make me a bitch. Don't get me wrong, those in my circle use the word loosely, which is cool. But I'm speaking to those who use it with malice. If someone approaches me in a certain manner I will reciprocate in the same manner. I’ll just be more effective at it. My threshold for ignorance and bullshit has decreased (finally), thus, leading to thoughts of me being a bitch. Those who know me, know I'm really not ... I'm actually very nice... in fact, I'm too nice. However, if being a bitch means handling my priorities well and making sure I get what I want deserve…then I guess I'm guilty. I will tolerate nothing but the best for me. Especially if I've earned it.

"When a woman is assertive and adamant about what she wants, she's totally branded a 'bitch,' 'difficult,' 'hard to work with,' or whatever the case may be. You know what? I'll take it. Call me a bitch, call me whatever, it doesn't matter." ~Kelis

essie 2009 winter collection.

from right to left: lollipop, rock candy, mint candy apple.


i want mint candy apple on my nails like yesterday.

♥.

via we heart it.

comments for 'free will'.

i don't usually repost comments left under my blog entries, but after reading these two from my free will post, I felt compelled, as they spoke volumes.

"The only thing we really have is free will. The will to think and do as we
please. The fact is that, that will is governed by experiences, preferences and moral values. That is our gift from God or whomever you believe. The
consequences of those choices and the thought and expectations of those
consequences heavily influence our free will. Integrity is what is lacking
now-a-days. The ability to maintain your moral values in the face of adversity. What is the sense of having or exercising free will with no integrity? Once you have to exercise free will with integrity you stand a true test. I think you are doing pretty frikkin well though lol."

and...

"Free will is also controlled by fear and motivation. You have the will
to change whatever it is that you want to; your actions, your situation etc. But are u afraid of the outcome or consequences that change will bring about? You don't know what the outcome will be. You rather remain in the comfort of the "known" than slip into the unknown. Why would you be motivated to exercise free will if you don't know whether your actions will affect your life positively or negatively? So you continue to live the same way even though you might want to change some things about your life. You might not like some of the things that you do but at least you know what the consequences of your actions are because you have dealt with them before. I believe that free will exist in every situation. It is a wonderful gift that allows us to succeed and fail so that we may learn and progress."

Good Stuff.

untitled: two.

we spoke again. i love being there for people i care about. i think she's at a point in her life where she's past the whole open relationship/dating phase. growing up, i was always taught not to settle. why is she settling for something that is not in her best interest? nor does it fit her lifestyle right now. i don't know what else to tell her. i mean, i can only give but so much advice. i remember us being young and into whatever dude fit our mood for that moment but we’ve definitely outgrown that.

…and the truth if she isn't comfortable with some of the things that occur and monogamy has become a little more attractive to her, she should let him know, or pursue it.

life is inevitably predetermined.

"My whole life has been decided by fate. I think something more powerful than we are decides our fates for us. I know one thing - I've never planned anything that ever happened to me." - Sharon Tate

untitled.

i spoke to her last week and it seems as if she really wants to execute this method she heard about, to see if it will work and help her. supposedly studies show that if you practice something for twenty-one days consecutively, it'll become a habit. personally, i think it will benefit her. she's so close, yet so far. they should try getting to know each other again. as long as she maintains this new mental outlook, she'll be fine. i believe in her.

unfortunately, they're more alike, than they are different. the only difference is that he's the epitome of a realist, which in essence works out great because she's not. someone needs to be in tune with reality.

time in a bottle.

last night while looking for something in my closet, i came across an old diary. a diary i held between 1995 and 1998. as i rummaged through the pages, several emotions invaded my cloudless mind.

i laughed. a lot.

at the same time, i was confused. sad. amazed. responsive.

capturing time in a bottle would be so sweet.

emotional dependence kills.

waiting to exhale. ever thought about the characters in that movie? notice how they were all holding on to past hurts and disruptive men because they kept the faith that eventually these men would come around; just to sadly realize that you cannot change a man and you can't sit around in a relationship that you're unhappy with in hopes of him coming around. ever notice that some women are financially independent and can hold their own in the corporate world or anywhere else for that matter, but for some unfathomable reason, they’re emotionally dependent on men?

...being independent doesn’t mean you don’t hurt & cry when a man leaves, it only means that IF a man were to leave; you’d STILL know how to look up and pick up the pieces.

illusions.

a woman's intuition never lies but when your self-esteem isn’t where it needs to be, it can be very deceitful by creating fictional feelings.

facade extraordinaire.

smoke and mirrors: a metaphor for a deceptive, fraudulent or insubstantial explanation or description.

everyone has a smoke and mirror act(s) in their life. i don't give a shit how many times you've said you got rid of all the fake people in your life, some are still present. it's unfortunate, but some people do possess this talent, similar to a magicians' illusions. i like to call it facade extraordinaire. they make a personality appear, then disappear.

don't be fooled.

the unknown.

you encounter something minor, maybe even major, and don't know.

don't know how to feel.

something that happened to you or even a friend of yours. at work, at home, at play, in a relationship. whatever. and you just don't know how to feel about it. you can't offer kind words to your friend, because you don't know what the fuck to say. you can't make yourself feel better about it, because the emotion you feel is unknown.

the emotion is um... invisible but very visible.

you're not ecstatic nor are you angry.

you're not shocked, but you aren't calm.

sympathy is absent, however apathy isn't present.

you can't react accordingly because...well, you just don't know.

yes, lenny...♥

absolutely love it.