time in a bottle.

last night while looking for something in my closet, i came across an old diary. a diary i held between 1995 and 1998. as i rummaged through the pages, several emotions invaded my cloudless mind.

i laughed. a lot.

at the same time, i was confused. sad. amazed. responsive.

capturing time in a bottle would be so sweet.

emotional dependence kills.

waiting to exhale. ever thought about the characters in that movie? notice how they were all holding on to past hurts and disruptive men because they kept the faith that eventually these men would come around; just to sadly realize that you cannot change a man and you can't sit around in a relationship that you're unhappy with in hopes of him coming around. ever notice that some women are financially independent and can hold their own in the corporate world or anywhere else for that matter, but for some unfathomable reason, they’re emotionally dependent on men?

...being independent doesn’t mean you don’t hurt & cry when a man leaves, it only means that IF a man were to leave; you’d STILL know how to look up and pick up the pieces.

illusions.

a woman's intuition never lies but when your self-esteem isn’t where it needs to be, it can be very deceitful by creating fictional feelings.

facade extraordinaire.

smoke and mirrors: a metaphor for a deceptive, fraudulent or insubstantial explanation or description.

everyone has a smoke and mirror act(s) in their life. i don't give a shit how many times you've said you got rid of all the fake people in your life, some are still present. it's unfortunate, but some people do possess this talent, similar to a magicians' illusions. i like to call it facade extraordinaire. they make a personality appear, then disappear.

don't be fooled.

the unknown.

you encounter something minor, maybe even major, and don't know.

don't know how to feel.

something that happened to you or even a friend of yours. at work, at home, at play, in a relationship. whatever. and you just don't know how to feel about it. you can't offer kind words to your friend, because you don't know what the fuck to say. you can't make yourself feel better about it, because the emotion you feel is unknown.

the emotion is um... invisible but very visible.

you're not ecstatic nor are you angry.

you're not shocked, but you aren't calm.

sympathy is absent, however apathy isn't present.

you can't react accordingly because...well, you just don't know.

yes, lenny...♥

absolutely love it.

three hearts.

i'm an optimistic-realist.

hopeless romantic, yes.

but i expect the worst, while hoping for the best.

how does your heart look ?

free will.

free and independent choice; voluntary decision.

in a nutshell.

some people argued for ages that free will is non-existent, while others beg to differ. personally, i thought it existed at one point. i did. i was one of those who felt i had free will to do what i wanted, when i wanted. but in light of some recent actions, i've come to realize that something else is controlling my actions. but what ? i want to know what's making me do the diminutive things i say i will no longer do. or i will try to do less of. or change. why isn't it working?

free will. does it really exist ?

and if it does, is it possible that it only exists in certain areas of your life and is absent in others ?

artistry.

art evolves, so does life. art is never stagnant, neither is life.

some people are innate risk takers. while others choose to play it safe. i can admit that playing it safe gives me a sense of security, but risk-taking can be effective, especially if it's a life-changing risk. how would you know if it's life changing ? you won't. that's why you take the risk. risk-taking allows room for growth, in my opinion. i've been doing certain things differently and that has allowed me to realize that i'm a work in progress. and i'm okay with that. whether it be in my career, family, friendships or relationship, i'm constantly changing and growing and risk-taking has helped that process inimitably.

works in progress are never perfect, but changes can be made to the rewrites during rough drafts.

take risks.

saturday.

flying kites. playing frisbee. building sandcastles. sand pictures. drinking in the sun.




perfect beach day.

heart in sand drawn by my daughter.

less is more.

i'm embarking on something new.

i'm willing to try this out for as long as i can and see where it takes me.

about a week ago, i took my daughter bike riding in prospect park. we laughed. we fell. she cried. ate italian icees. rode on the carousel. fed birds. hung out near the dog beach. it was great. i've been embracing life's simple abundances a lot more lately.

joyful simplicities go a long way.

♥

usher in vegas.

the magazine.

although i said i was changing the direction of my blog, making it less about what it was and more about my simple abundances, i felt compelled to post this.

almost impeccable.

since nothing is 100% flawless.

a thousand words.

“Photography is a way of feeling, of touching, of loving. What you have caught on film is captured forever... it remembers little things, long after you have forgotten everything.” - Aaron Siskind

inspired.

to write again.

a future post(s)

is forthcoming. someone will read, understand or gain something from my random simple intricacies.

whenever something occurs in my life, whether major or minor, good or bad, my writing is affected, typically for the better. my blog's direction may change slightly.