life is inevitably predetermined.

"My whole life has been decided by fate. I think something more powerful than we are decides our fates for us. I know one thing - I've never planned anything that ever happened to me." - Sharon Tate

untitled.

i spoke to her last week and it seems as if she really wants to execute this method she heard about, to see if it will work and help her. supposedly studies show that if you practice something for twenty-one days consecutively, it'll become a habit. personally, i think it will benefit her. she's so close, yet so far. they should try getting to know each other again. as long as she maintains this new mental outlook, she'll be fine. i believe in her.

unfortunately, they're more alike, than they are different. the only difference is that he's the epitome of a realist, which in essence works out great because she's not. someone needs to be in tune with reality.

time in a bottle.

last night while looking for something in my closet, i came across an old diary. a diary i held between 1995 and 1998. as i rummaged through the pages, several emotions invaded my cloudless mind.

i laughed. a lot.

at the same time, i was confused. sad. amazed. responsive.

capturing time in a bottle would be so sweet.

emotional dependence kills.

waiting to exhale. ever thought about the characters in that movie? notice how they were all holding on to past hurts and disruptive men because they kept the faith that eventually these men would come around; just to sadly realize that you cannot change a man and you can't sit around in a relationship that you're unhappy with in hopes of him coming around. ever notice that some women are financially independent and can hold their own in the corporate world or anywhere else for that matter, but for some unfathomable reason, they’re emotionally dependent on men?

...being independent doesn’t mean you don’t hurt & cry when a man leaves, it only means that IF a man were to leave; you’d STILL know how to look up and pick up the pieces.

illusions.

a woman's intuition never lies but when your self-esteem isn’t where it needs to be, it can be very deceitful by creating fictional feelings.

facade extraordinaire.

smoke and mirrors: a metaphor for a deceptive, fraudulent or insubstantial explanation or description.

everyone has a smoke and mirror act(s) in their life. i don't give a shit how many times you've said you got rid of all the fake people in your life, some are still present. it's unfortunate, but some people do possess this talent, similar to a magicians' illusions. i like to call it facade extraordinaire. they make a personality appear, then disappear.

don't be fooled.

the unknown.

you encounter something minor, maybe even major, and don't know.

don't know how to feel.

something that happened to you or even a friend of yours. at work, at home, at play, in a relationship. whatever. and you just don't know how to feel about it. you can't offer kind words to your friend, because you don't know what the fuck to say. you can't make yourself feel better about it, because the emotion you feel is unknown.

the emotion is um... invisible but very visible.

you're not ecstatic nor are you angry.

you're not shocked, but you aren't calm.

sympathy is absent, however apathy isn't present.

you can't react accordingly because...well, you just don't know.

yes, lenny...♥

absolutely love it.

three hearts.

i'm an optimistic-realist.

hopeless romantic, yes.

but i expect the worst, while hoping for the best.

how does your heart look ?