random thoughts: why do people try so hard?

I'm sitting here at my desk with a pounding headache, listening to the voices of my energetic co-workers exchanging stories about their upcoming holiday plans. I really hope no one decides to include Peggy in that conversation ... While I am very social and usually have much to say, I'm so not in the mood for generic office chatter today.

"Hey, are you all set for Christmas?" - is that really any of your business?

"Hey Peg, is Kianah excited about Christmas?" - Umm yeah, she's 5 - you tell me.

"Hey, what's your plans for the holiday?" - If I tell you, are you gonna want to tell me your plans? I hope not... I'm not really too interested today.

"So tell me, what did you get the little one?" - way too much to tell you ... now leave me alone.

By the time any of them see this post, I'll be in a better mood. My Corinne Bailey Rae album is in my CD Player and I'm drinking my second cup of coffee, smh. I should be drinking my POM Juice. I don't feel like speaking to any Brokers or CSRs, I don't want to book any policies, I don't feel like calculating CA Earthquake limits, shit, I don't even feel like corresponding with co-workers .. so clearly, I'm feeling blah and it's not even that time of month yet. It happens.

I had an interesting night . I was gonna post a 'late night diaries' segment, but this one would be wordless, as I didn't have anything of substance to say. I mean I didn't say much in the last one, but somehow my aimless babble managed to flow precisely.

Ever sat back and thought to yourself that you are trying way too hard to do a certain something or make something come true? Whether it be at work, at home, in a relationship, at school, or just in life in general? Why do we put all our effort into something when we can't really control the outcome of things? Do you ever get tired of trying so hard? Especially when the desired outcome isn't coming to fruition soon enough?

What about the people who don't give a fuck and just let things be? How does one become so ... ummm ... phlegmatic ...? Is this some inherent trait that stems from childhood or can someone become aloof at any given time in their life?

I know I may sound like I'm talking about nothing [once again] but somebody's gonna read between the lines of this post and understand what I'm talking about...

Have a great day everyone.