15 January 2009

puh-lease.

It seems as if being really nice to a person can sometimes be mistaken for flirting or coming on to another person. Not all the time, just with certain people. I realize that when guys have an indication that they have a ‘green light’ from a woman, they might act on that, if they’re interested. But what about if you’re just being cordial or polite?

I’m a pretty social person. I can confabulate or formally converse, whatever the occasion calls for. I insert jokes accordingly, listen to the other person, provide feedback where necessary, etc. If someone says “good afternoon” to me, I'll reciprocate. I’m not going to walk around all stiff with my arms folded and head down just because I’m in a relationship or not interested in that person. It seems, however, like that’s what some people may be used to. Because, if you’re nice to them, they take it as more than that.

I totally digg having boundaries. I have them, and expect that to be reciprocated in my relationship - because outside forces will disrespect your relationship if you allow it. But, how do you maintain ‘normal’ interactions with people of the opposite sex without them jumping the gun and thinking it's more than you just being cordial?

6 comments:

brook lynne carter. said...

ok ok..i totally agree..i think thats how my social anxiety developed!! lol, not to be funny but when im nice, i get too much attention, and despite what people think, i hate it and dont like to be bothered. so now im anti social and border line rude sometimes (as a defense mechanism) because i dislike people in my space or talking to me with an alterior motive.

i know i know, im a nut. i know.

Brothers Blog said...

Yeah unfortunately most guys don't know the difference. They do tend to take any act of kindness as "man she must be feeling me too." Can't change that. Guess you just gotta be upfront and let the guy know it's not what you think.

Faire l'amour said...

I think its because guys really don't know the difference and when you speak to them nicely it sends blood down to there you know what and they just going on testosterone from that point on! LOL

No but seriously I think there are biological reasons behind this.

She's Gotta Have It said...

I think that some guys are just used to women flat out ignoring them in public, so when one actually takes the time to reciprocate the 'hello', they think the girl actually likes them. I usually go the ignore route, but then I risk getting called a bitch. You can't win.

**trucee writer** said...

maaaaan, i have SO much to say...but i'll keep it short. To me, its so aggravating (refering to what u talk about in ur blog) because guys are so quick to think ANYTHING is a "green light". i have a nice smile, i like to smile, that does NOT mean i like OR want your ass! I love laughing and cracking jokes, that doesnt mean i want to laugh with you for an eternity...like...fall back!

then it upsets me more when dudes get upset when i pass them right the fuck by when they try to holla because, like you said, i dont want to be rude or an asshole about it but goooot damn...a simple hello can jump start some brothers for DAYS! sometimes i feel bad bc i could be passing up someone really geuinely nice but bc i cant ever tell, i gotta keep it pushing...

im far from conceited, not even close to vain or full of myself. i just enjoy my personal space and peace of mind sometimes. Lord knows i hate going to the club now bc a dance to a dude must mean i want them draws! hmph *sarcastic face*

thats another topic though...sorry for venting girl lmao

Kofi Bofah said...

You might enjoy this:

She is Just Not That Into You

Yup...